the real Laughter of Buddha-me

I was having this conversation with myself, with these
aspects of myself
in the car, on the way home yesterday.

The Buddha-me was talking to an old distant ghost of sad-me--
a former incarnation (and one who was very real, before
Core-Belief Engineering and Wellbutrin—she is just a shadow now;
thankfully she doesn’t live Here anymore, but
I remember her) and

Buddha-me was teaching her about Happiness
Buddha-me said that happiness is just a matter of practicing happiness
that to be happy, one must just
Be Happy

and the sad ghost was so bitter
and sarcastic, and laughed a brittle laugh, thinking Buddha me
must be stupid, must be simple
to be So Happy
but Buddha me just laughed more, laughed bigger, laughed real Laughter—and said—

poor little ghost
you ache with anger because you think I have it so easy
that it must be so very Easy for me to be this Stupidly Happy

Bullshit, sad little ghost!
to Be Happy is Work!
Hard Work!

a discipline takes Discipline, and you, weak and bitter
are weak and bitter because That is the Easiest Way to Be!
Do not laugh with your cutting sneering laugh at me
and believe that I am the foolish one
if you laugh
do not put poison in your laughter
do not laugh until your laughter
is Real